Thursday, February 17, 2005

< rant type=tired of self-pity >

Why oh why do people find it so hard to set limits on another's ability to influence their lives? Is it so difficult to have clear boundaries and be prepared to defend them if necessary?

I understand that it is unsettling when you have caught a glimpse of the dark side of a loved one, an unconsciously selfish side that tries to take advantage. I understandd that is a tough choice: If you let boundary violations slide in the name of devotion, you are likely to compound the damage to your self-esteem. If you protest, you risk being misunderstood or, more painfully, a rejected scapegoat.

But still it *is* a choice.

I think people need to spend more time studying such relationships with a cool head, avoiding sentimentality and asking themselves: Are you clear on what you are dealing with? Are you emotionally courageous enough to take the steps that will protect you from negative elements in this relationship?

If so, then by the gods, man, just coolly draw the line and defend your boundaries. Such times are not the time for hysterics, however easy such a route might be.

< /rant>


Thank the gods I am not as psychotic as I was last year. ;)


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