Friday, February 04, 2005

I Feel What I Feel That I Feel That I Feel

I find it curious that when someone says they do not wish to feel a certain way, they seem to almost completely disregard the fact that they *do* feel that way and that the feeling is them. Feeling a certain way is one feeling; not *wanting* to feel that way is *another* feeling, and it does not cause the first feeling to stop.

The effort expended in trying to disown a feeling seems a dangerous thing. Disowning a feeling does not destroy it, it only causes you to foreit your capacity to act it out as you wish. I find that when I condemn a feeling, I stop believing it to be me and so it appears to take on a life of its own and forces me to respond to it in a habitual way.

It seems as futile to condemn myself for feeling scared or selfish or revengeful or bored or detached as it would be for me to condemn myself for something like the size of my feet.

[Barring manipulation of neurochemistry via what I do or do not eat, drink or how much I do or do not sleep, etc....] ...I am not responsible for my feelings, but for what I *do* with them.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Odd timing on this post. I read your horoscope today and it said: "Remember that your emotions don't have to be explained. Your feelings don't have to fit into the outer world. They simply need to be felt."

You seem to be quite in synch, but what else is new.

February 05, 2005  

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