Tuesday, January 22, 2008

"Though I’m past one hundred thousand miles, I'm feeling very still."

for the boy

Sometimes, between beats,
a black hole returns something.
And free fall resumes.

I do not need oxygen,
no tethers to your support.

Sometimes all it takes is "cheer up chica" via buzz in your pocket, and you remember you are really real and somewhere, someplace, someone walking their own world, doing their own thing, really knows that. That's all it takes to highlight that it is always here and now. Everywhere. At the same time.

Followed a few hours later by the effective avenue for resolution that I had wanted, as referenced in last comments. My judgement is confirmed as bad as I had thought, but I find now that most of my struggle was with *believing* that. The removal of hope provides the removal of doubt, and I'm sure I'll have a blog about that later tonight.

But, now: out the door to buy Heelys, because all children should have the ability to go zoom before falling and cracking their skulls!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

most of my struggle was with *believing* that.

This was obvious when you mentioned a person split between feeling and beliefs. I know how much you open to clarity and I can only imagine the monumental nature of anything that caused you to stopping seeing it. To stop being it.

Selfishly, I was happy to see you posting so often, which you only seem to do in times of confusion.

Is that going to go away now?!?

January 22, 2008  
Anonymous Caro said...

You didn't realize you were having trouble not being SURE if you were wrong or not?!?! The flits of hysteria weren't a clue?! When have you ever been hysterical about BEING wrong or is that something I've missed? I mean, I know el nino adds an added tension that I can't understand, but STILL!

Really, girlfriend, had I known you were being THAT blind to yourself, I would have stepped in with the answer and saved the day for YOU for once, instead of the other way around!

Can we play quotes now, if the drama is all cleared up?

January 22, 2008  
Blogger Ladarna Daorsa said...

The flits of hysteria weren't a clue?

Fits of hysteria? Is today only Tuesday? We're talking one week of symptoming core instability when my core is, in fact, unstable and that's supposed to be a giant clue?

I'm good, lover girl, but not *that* good!

It's not like I was off the rails for six months or something, you know. And, in my defense, I was only hunkering down and I got *shoved* off the rails, so I don't think that should count.

Fits of hysteria as clue, indeed.

January 22, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

::scratches head::

Is "cheer up chica" even relevant? Is it relevant to what ethereal things *we* have been reading about? I will never understand women.

January 22, 2008  
Blogger Ladarna Daorsa said...

LOL, whether or not it's relevant (by which I assume you mean applicable), is itself irrelevant.

What matters is that it is words when words are required as *need*, knowing that *I* believe that to be true in the moment, and not words when they are not required. What matters is it's not really a blackhole, it's an alter. It's as complete an affirmation -- for me -- as possible so, yeah, if you want to get technical, it is also relevant.

Um. It's late. :)

January 22, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"What matters is it's not really a blackhole, it's an alter. "

Ah, that clears it up, thanks! ;)

Cover doubt and hope tomorrow, will ya? I'm looking forward to that one.

January 22, 2008  

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