Tuesday, January 22, 2008

She holds the snake in her mouth.

Conflict. Tension. Testing.

Crisis is unbalanced power in extreme. It exists when opposing factors seek their own direction and the structures containing them will not hold the energies being released. But, of course, we know that for illusion brought on by the attempt to hold.

So we are left with an individual who feels split between feelings and beliefs, between differing attitudes and world views. Dangers and demand enact such a tremendous test, my dears and how do you continue when have already failed one? ::waving hand dismissively:: I *know* the answer of course: all crisis is a breakdown of control, and it's important to meet the necessity by yielding control, not consciousness -- breakdowns are breakthroughs if we change, and if we choose.

::resting head on desk::

Ah, my dears, who knew I needed so much practice not blaming others in conflict situations. Conflict should be used to bring out personal and objective issues and to make choices which resolve them; that's what I'm always reminding all of *you*, at any rate. But, I need help right now, remembering what it is I've forgotten, because the only choice I keep returning to is pain and that is resolving nothing.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Often it is not help which is needed but a change in attitude. While I cannot advize you on your situation, I can tell you this: relax your mind and let your feelings through.

January 22, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, Beloved, someone has sure jacked your shit up. What a cruel time for it. I pity you the timing aspect, but otherwise I'll just tell you what you already know: see the purpose behind even your worst suffering.

And, since that probably offers little consolation atm, I will add this: know that I believe karmic retribution will attach itself to whoever misplayed your trust. You are too bright a light of kindness for that to be otherwise.

January 22, 2008  
Blogger Ladarna Daorsa said...

someone has sure jacked your shit up

Pfft. I've jacked my *own* shit up. That part is not in question, to me. We need not have a whole "inherent hurt" and cause and effect conversation, do we?

My problem is, I seem unable to resolve the hurt. I seem unable to express it and let it go, or at least to let it go for long.

But, I've taken my own advice and found the moment to pay attention to the moment and bring the personal and objective issues to the fore. I've made, and enacted, a choice which I believe will lead to their resolution. And so I can breathe it out for now, though I know admitting I don't have control is not the same as yielding it.

If this proves ineffective, I'll try something else!

January 22, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm sorry for whatever you are going through but I wanted to say thanks for writing about it. Always the things you say resonate for me and I find them very overall calming. I don't really comment so I wanted to comment this.

January 22, 2008  

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