Tuesday, January 15, 2008

"And a wham-bam, Merci, Danke, thank 'a you ma'm"

Alright, I stole the title from Aspyre. Although *now* might be the time to whip out with my "I Could Spit in Your Eye Even Easier if my Mouth was Full of Blood" title!

I need to do a better job of reading my own notes to myself because I give myself uncommonly good advice. Wasn't I supposed to be wary of haste? Wasn't I supposed to avoid that beguiling enticing illusion of urgency? Even if the quote I posted was my ding dingity dong horoscope, hadn't I just told myself the same thing that very morning? The fact that it resonated should have been enough. The fact that it was *true* should have been enough. And it was enough.

Until I forgot.


Can it be only the 15th of January? I feel further unspeakably aged and this month has been grueling even in it's brevity. There's been too little sleep, there's been death, which I have not yet fully processed, there's been love, which I no longer need to process, there've been exquisite gains and, now, piercing losses, and all that last bit is illusion, is it not?

And if you ask me if there is anything you should know, the answer is usually "no", because it's not about you, it's about me. But sometimes, the answer is "yes", there *is* some thing, above all other things, that I feel you "should" know. And if that is the case, I will always tell you. But that telling -- that "should", that wanting it known -- that's only about me, too, isn't it?

Today is grueling, too, especially physically, and it is not even noon. I don't have words eloquent enough for the constant challenge that has been this year to date. It's been all *these* words:

and you should listen to them.

(And you should note that this playlist is dynamic, so it may be different every time you listen.)


Anonymous Anonymous said...


Listened to straight through with headphones in the dark, is like a meditation.

Or a prayer.

January 15, 2008  
Blogger Ladarna Daorsa said...

is like a

It is a gift.

And you are right about it being headphone music. It's okay without, but I intended it to be listend to with headphones.

January 15, 2008  
Blogger Andrea said...

I knew the songs, but just now, looking at it again, I felt the spirit of cohesion in them. It's like a desperate release.

I took Bowie's Peter & The Wolf into Cheryl's class. ;)

January 16, 2008  

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