Tuesday, August 30, 2005

On pondering some inadvertant paper mache...

The human psyche is almost infinitely complex, made up of layers upon layers of thoughts, experiences, emotions, fears, loves, and goals. Those who seek to find the true essence of being or to move past a fear or anger response find that there are many intermediate steps along the way. When we first look inward, we look at ourselves as a whole, as a cumulative, when in fact we are only seeing the surface. Like an onion, if we move past the surface, we will find another layer. Moving past that, we find yet another layer. Layers of differing thickness and strength and size, but tied one to the next by the thin skin of experience that holds them in place. These layers are barriers and everyone has them. You may work past one fear only to be confronted with a deeper, underlying fear. Or you may fully assimilate a revelation only to find other aspects of that revelation that you had not discovered. How many layers you will confront before finding a resolution is unknown. This is the journey, this is life.

But the journey to the center of the onion - what they called sunyata in Sanskrit or mu in Chinese - can be an enlightening experience in and of itself. As you break through each barrier, you gain a more profound understanding of your own mind and come to learn the unique facets that make up who you are. You will become intimately acquainted with your needs and wants, reactions, aversions, pleasures, and pains. You will discover qualities within yourself that have been buried by the years or by old hurts, by old habits. This knowledge is cumulative. As you break through one barrier and confront the next, oftentimes more powerful, barrier, you will be equipped with the knowledge of self that you have gained during your searching.

The process can continue indefinitely, for with self-discovery comes growth and thus further discovery. The more you learn, the more you will inevitably find, as you travel deeper and deeper within your soul.


Anonymous St_Ranger said...

Your writing is quite beautiful.

August 31, 2005  
Blogger ~Deb said...

Great blog --very insightful. I just dropped in and couldn't stop reading. Fantastic writing!

August 31, 2005  
Blogger Ladarna Daorsa said...

Deb: Thanks so much! This is my outlet for deepening my examination of my life. While I may be at home stomping around bitching about losing my glasses, here is where I will spend time pondering the nature of lose.

I started writing this blog originally for a group of friends scattered about the country (I'm a horrible correspondent) and I'm just so thrilled that a real live stranger stumbled on it and enjoyed it! Thanks for taking the time to comment.

August 31, 2005  
Blogger ~Deb said...

I find your thought process absolutely stimulating. I'm quite the thinker myself, so I love to over analyze or----figure things out in a way that no one would.

Seems like you have a great deeper understanding that many do not. Impressed!

You should really start writing a book, if you haven't already.

This will definitely be put in 'my favorites'.

(back to tend to this swollen face of mine) ----Good to see the word thingie appear on your blog ---no spam! I got offered one time for a mail order bride-ALMOST tempted. ha!

~All the best

September 01, 2005  

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